![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
southernbangel makes a date with Jesus
Mar. 28th, 2006 01:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caliente_ukAs you all know by now, JM is hosting "James Marsters and Friends" in L.A. this year. I posted the email announcement in my LJ and southernbangel mistakenly thought it said "Make a Date with Jesus". :D
And so the following conversation happened betweensouthernbangel and amybnnyc:
amybnnyc: And is apparently doing *really* well for himself, in order to afford that appearance fee. *g*
southernbangel: Con organizers: So, Jesus. We're wondering how much you would charge for a four-hour appearance at our convention.
Jesus: Well, considering I died for mankind's sins I'm thinking.... quite a bit.
amybnnyc: Con Organizers: OK, counteroffer. We'll have fangirls, and all the Red Bull you can handle. Also, fangirls. And I say that as potentially one of those fangirls.
Jesus: Can I turn the Red Bull into wine?
Con Organizers: Hey, it's your deal. Whatever you want, big guy.
southernbangel: Jesus: By the way, I've got a pretty large posse. You might have heard of 'em. I like to call them "The Twelve." Matthew, he's my talent agent. Mark, he's my publicist. Luke, that crazy cat is my manager. The rest are hanger-ons. We'll need room and board, but since I can feed multitudes of people from two fish and five loaves of bread, I think we're cool.
CO: We were thinking of having a question and answer period to be followed by re-enactment of some of your more famous scenes. We're thinking walking on water, healing the dead... not something like THE scene.
Jesus: As for my rider, it's pretty simple. No crown of thorns. Other than that, I'm good.
amybnnyc: Jesus: Except for Judas. Stick him in the barn, in somebody's car, in the equipment van... ahh, announce that he's Jordan Levin and throw him to the crowd if you want. I'm not choosy anymore when it comes to him.
Con organizers: No on the crown of thorns... got it. Anything else?
Jesus: Walking on water, you said? Well, I'll need at least a kiddie pool, and Evian, if you please. If the tap water's too hard, I've ruined my sandals. Also, if I might ask for low-carb bread? Luke's on a South Beach kick, and I'll never hear the end of it if he starts thinking his hips look too big in his robes...
southernbangel: Jesus: It's bad enough with the whole Matthew/Levi thing. I tell him, "Dude, just pick a name." Right now he's in the Matthew phase. I do NOT need Luke's whining about the burlap being a little tight around the hips.
CO: Okay, low-carb bread, Matthew is Matthew. *makes notations on clipboard* Anything else?
Jesus: If you can make sure there are no stones around, that would be great. Oh, and no Roman governors around.
CO: Right, because of the thing....
Jesus: *heavy stare* Yeah, the *thing*...
amybnnyc: Jesus: Also, the tables and chairs? All plastic and metal. I get a bit nervous when there's a lot of hardwood about. And all construction *must* be done before I come in, or I'll be twitchy.
CO: Plastic tables... and chairs... no visible construction. Can do.
Jesus: Oh! And you can save your money on nametags and microphone rentals, as I'll already know who everyone is and what they'd like to ask, so we can just go from there.
CO: Won't that be a little... Jonathan Edwards? I mean, it seems a little "ooh, I see dead people," don't you think? It's a bit played out.
Jesus: (hurt feelings) Oh, well... Microphones all around, then. ::mutters:: Good to know I've been 'played out' by some two-bit huckster. Luke and Matthew/Levi/WhoeverThisWeek are *so* fired; there has to be better management out there. ::pulls out cell phone::
southernbangel: CO: Please don't smite us!
Jesus: *heavy sigh* That's not my thing. 'Turn the other cheek,' remember? You're thinking old school, like Moses and Sodom and Gomorrah.
CO: Right. Sorry about that.
Jesus: S'okay. I get that quite a bit. *grumbles* Morons, the lot of them.
I love my friends! *g*
southernbangel mistakenly thought it said "Make a Date with Jesus". :D And so the following conversation happened between
southernbangel and amybnnyc:amybnnyc: And is apparently doing *really* well for himself, in order to afford that appearance fee. *g*southernbangel: Con organizers: So, Jesus. We're wondering how much you would charge for a four-hour appearance at our convention.Jesus: Well, considering I died for mankind's sins I'm thinking.... quite a bit.
amybnnyc: Con Organizers: OK, counteroffer. We'll have fangirls, and all the Red Bull you can handle. Also, fangirls. And I say that as potentially one of those fangirls.Jesus: Can I turn the Red Bull into wine?
Con Organizers: Hey, it's your deal. Whatever you want, big guy.
southernbangel: Jesus: By the way, I've got a pretty large posse. You might have heard of 'em. I like to call them "The Twelve." Matthew, he's my talent agent. Mark, he's my publicist. Luke, that crazy cat is my manager. The rest are hanger-ons. We'll need room and board, but since I can feed multitudes of people from two fish and five loaves of bread, I think we're cool.CO: We were thinking of having a question and answer period to be followed by re-enactment of some of your more famous scenes. We're thinking walking on water, healing the dead... not something like THE scene.
Jesus: As for my rider, it's pretty simple. No crown of thorns. Other than that, I'm good.
amybnnyc: Jesus: Except for Judas. Stick him in the barn, in somebody's car, in the equipment van... ahh, announce that he's Jordan Levin and throw him to the crowd if you want. I'm not choosy anymore when it comes to him.Con organizers: No on the crown of thorns... got it. Anything else?
Jesus: Walking on water, you said? Well, I'll need at least a kiddie pool, and Evian, if you please. If the tap water's too hard, I've ruined my sandals. Also, if I might ask for low-carb bread? Luke's on a South Beach kick, and I'll never hear the end of it if he starts thinking his hips look too big in his robes...
southernbangel: Jesus: It's bad enough with the whole Matthew/Levi thing. I tell him, "Dude, just pick a name." Right now he's in the Matthew phase. I do NOT need Luke's whining about the burlap being a little tight around the hips.CO: Okay, low-carb bread, Matthew is Matthew. *makes notations on clipboard* Anything else?
Jesus: If you can make sure there are no stones around, that would be great. Oh, and no Roman governors around.
CO: Right, because of the thing....
Jesus: *heavy stare* Yeah, the *thing*...
amybnnyc: Jesus: Also, the tables and chairs? All plastic and metal. I get a bit nervous when there's a lot of hardwood about. And all construction *must* be done before I come in, or I'll be twitchy.CO: Plastic tables... and chairs... no visible construction. Can do.
Jesus: Oh! And you can save your money on nametags and microphone rentals, as I'll already know who everyone is and what they'd like to ask, so we can just go from there.
CO: Won't that be a little... Jonathan Edwards? I mean, it seems a little "ooh, I see dead people," don't you think? It's a bit played out.
Jesus: (hurt feelings) Oh, well... Microphones all around, then. ::mutters:: Good to know I've been 'played out' by some two-bit huckster. Luke and Matthew/Levi/WhoeverThisWeek are *so* fired; there has to be better management out there. ::pulls out cell phone::
southernbangel: CO: Please don't smite us!Jesus: *heavy sigh* That's not my thing. 'Turn the other cheek,' remember? You're thinking old school, like Moses and Sodom and Gomorrah.
CO: Right. Sorry about that.
Jesus: S'okay. I get that quite a bit. *grumbles* Morons, the lot of them.
I love my friends! *g*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-03-28 01:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-28 01:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-28 01:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-28 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-28 07:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-28 02:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-28 03:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-28 03:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-28 04:49 pm (UTC)Thank you for letting us invade you with our crazy (and apologies about the tea-in-keyboard)! *smooch*
no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-03 03:41 am (UTC)brilliant! *g*